Ideas & Tips

Jan 23, 2012

Find a Mentor

If you want to be a world champion fighter, you get a coach and learn from the best. To be a Man you don't have to reinvent the wheel. A Mentor can help you speed the process.

In a nutshell:

A mentor helps you navigate through life...
Pick an area in your life where you think a mentor can help you and draw up a list of three potential mentors...
Describe why you think they’d be good...
Contact this mentor. Send an email or letter, call them, or drop by their office. Just make contact with them in some form...

...Continue reading this article at Hmong Men

Jan 12, 2012

7 Manly Lessons From Gran Torino

In short:

From the movie here are seven lessons Thao learned about what it means to be a man...

Read More...

Dec 21, 2011

Being Hmong you have to shake EVERYONES hand. From personal experience, Hmong people have some of the worst handshakes ever. You would think the culture would have mastered this technique by now.

Unfortunately, first impressions are lasting impressions, and quite a b**** if i don't say so myself. It only takes a couple seconds for another person to evaluate and square you up. That is why the handshake is so important. Your handshake defines who you are.

I am involved with the military and do a lot of advocacy with non-profits. I have shaken hands with the average Joe, to politicians, high ranking officers, and even entrepreneurs and millionaires. So i have had my fair share of handshakes. Are you a "Limp Fish" or are you "Confident". Unfortunately I encounter more of the "Limp Fish" when meeting Hmong people.

There are three keys to a successful handshake

How you do it
Make sure your handshake is firm, not a dead fish grip. However, you don’t want to crush the other person’s hand.

Make sure you don’t have food or grease on your hands. You want the person to remember you, not what you ate.
If your hands are sweaty, give them a quick nonchalant wipe on your pants.
When you offer your hand, look the person in the eye and smile.

When you do it
Handshakes involve timing. Many people avoid offering handshakes because they’re afraid of being left hanging. If you’re not sure if someone will notice your offer, extend the handshake anyways. Most of the time people will notice your handshake offer and quickly grasp your hand.

Be aware of different social customs. Most cultures have different customs for shaking hands. Some find it inappropriate for a man to shake a woman’s hand and some cultures find shaking hands completely unacceptable. Be sensitive to these situations.

*On a personal note, for women, I will either give them either a hand shake or a hug.

What if you’re left hanging?
Don’t feel embarrassed. The problem isn’t that the other person doesn’t think you’re important, you’re timing was just off.

Don’t offer a handshake if the other person is in a conversation with someone else.
Don’t approach someone from the side with your extended hand. It’s hard to see.
Do audibly greet the person first to get their attention and then offer your hand.

Where to do it
Handshakes are good every where. Make sure to shake plenty of hands when you go to a social gathering. Make sure to shake the hosts’ hand when arriving and leaving the gathering.